A COMPLETE GUIDE TO BDSM TERMS

Here is an A-Z guide of BDSM Terms to get you up to speed of the Bondage, Dominance and Sadist World. BDSM is becoming more and more popular as it is now accepted as a sexual experience not only for deviants as it was once believed.

Read through our Terms us leave us your questions for discussion. We encourage all to LIFE LIFE THEIR WAY without shame!

the leather man
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The Leather Man, Inc. began on Christopher Street in New York City in June, 1965, before when our founder, Chuck Mueller, decided to pack in his day job to make leather clothing for himself & others. Most thought he was crazy at the time because “who, besides Chuck, would want to wear leather clothing?” We have come a long way since then.

Spark Erotic

LIFESTYLE EROTICA

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We all have a longing for sexuality that is exciting and empowering. We are often held back from that experience by cultural negativity or the portrayal of sexuality as a cheap commodity. Spark Erotic believes that sexuality is valuable and worth our very best. To achieve this we are committed to filming: Authentic, Cinematic, Sexuality.

Sex Because

LIFESTYLE THERAPY & FUN

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Charlie & Arienne are psychotherapists, educators, great dancers, judgment free. musicians and self proclaimed rock stars! Join them for their blend of clinical principles mixed with off the cuff humor that has made them one of the most clinical teams internationally. Listen to their amazing podcasts.

Voodoo Leatherworks

COLORADO SPRINGS COLORADO

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An amazing community & club primarily focused on BDSM but host many fusion and swinger parties as well as classes and education. Our club can hold several thousand people and we welcome you to join our community to follow info on our Leatherworks Statewide. See website ...

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A-FRAME or FLOGGING TRIANGLE or Caning Rack

A type of bondage furniture with an upright triangle piece where a Submissive can be bound for flagellation. It is thought that an A-frame is more comfortable and supportive than an X-frame (St. Andrew's Cross)

ABRASION PLAY

Sensation play involving stroking the skin of a Submissive with sandpaper, emery boards, a wire brush, or any other material that brings about a scraping sensation. This can be done gently, simply to cause a mild sensation, or intensely to cause an abrasion wound

ABUSE (BDSM)

Any activity that crosses a participant's hard limit, or any activity that is NOT consensual. A non-consensual act or an intentional assault, either physically or emotionally, usually violent in nature. Treating someone in such a way as to cause them damage or harm. When safe words are ignored. There are those who have used BDSM to mask domestic abuse. Sadly, many times the abuse goes unreported due to the victim's fear of having his/her BDSM interest, activities, or lifestyle exposed. Even sadder, there are those who have maliciously set out to prey on such fears. Kink friendly support groups for those who have been victimized by abuse are increasing in numbers.

ADULT BABY

A person who engages in age play, primarily in the role of a very young child or baby. This sort of play sometimes involves the changing of adult diapers, as well as mock breast feedings.

AFTERCARE

The time period after an intense BDSM scene or activity in which the Dominant provides a safe mental and physical space for the Submissive to unwind; a time of recovery. Considered to be the time when a Dominant tends to the Sub missive's psychological needs in regards to the recent BDSM scene/experience.

AFTERSHOCK (BOTTOM DROP)

a temporary feeling of melancholy in a Submissive, which can occasionally occur in some people immediately after a BDSM scene or activity. Some scenes can be intense, both physically and emotionally, and sometimes the sudden reduction of endorphins in the brain can cause feelings of depression. For some, guilt about how they exposed their own emotions during the scene can be overwhelming, especially if the scene took place in front of others or a crowd. Also, for some people, the long anticipation prior to a scene, followed by the sudden end to the experience, can leave the Submissive with feelings of disappointment that the anticipation has ended. Whatever the cause of the feelings of bottom drop, it is one of the reasons why attentive aftercare is so important.

AGE PLAY

Any form of role-play in which a Submissive assumes the role of a child or has childlike qualities. Age play is a broad term that encompasses many forms of play and flavors, from infantilism to teen play. It refers to the sexual gratification one gets either from having the power and responsibility that a parent has, or from the powerlessness and the feeling of being cared for that a child has. It is not considered to be the same as pedophilia. Daddy/Babygirl relationships, Mommy/Babyboy relationships, and relationships that involve much older partners all fall under the Age Play umbrella, however, not all such relationships are considered Age Play. Many people play that Daddy/Mommy titles are in title only, simply because their role mirrors the characteristics of a stern but loving and nurturing parent, yet has no relation to role-playing as an actual parent to the role-play child. Age Play is usually reserved for those who actually role-play as a parent or child.

ALIPEDI or SLIDE

A term for inserting toes or the first part of a foot into someone's vagina or ass. A practice loosely tied to foot fetish or footing. Very similar to fisting, but with the foot.

ALGOLAGNIA

the act of turning pain into sexual pleasure; a synonym for sadomasochism. A sexual tendency defined by deriving sexual pleasure and stimulation from physical pain, often involving genitalia

ALLIGATOR CLAMP

A common type of nipple clamp with tips that have teeth resembling an alligator's mouth. Most alligator clamps come with removable rubber tips

ALPHA SUB

a structured hierarchy among Submissives in a BDSM house or family, or in any relationship involving more than one Submissive. The Alpha Sub is similar to the role of "First Wife" in some cultures, in which the Alpha Sub is the Submissive with the greatest power. Sometimes the Alpha Sub takes on a dominant role towards other Submissives while maintaining the role of Submissive to the Dominant or Master. Many believe that even though the role of Alpha Sub is at a higher stature than the Beta Sub, both roles are equally vital to the family structure. Not all relationships that involve more than one Submissive include the role of an Alpha Sub

ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE

A term used by all kink, fetish, swinger and other communities to represent open minded, sexually liberated lifestyle choices

ANAL BEADS

a sex toy consisting of multiple balls attached together in a series, inserted in the rectum and then removed either slowly or quickly during orgasm to enhance climax

ANAL HOOK or BUTT HOOK

a metal hook with a small loop on one end and usually a smooth ball shape at the other end, for insertion into a Submissive's anus. With rope tied to the loop, it can be tied in ways that force the Submissive into easy positions for flagellation or intercourse. Sometimes the same hook can be inserted into the vagina in the same way for the same purposes.

ANAL TORTURE

any practice in which one inflicts pain on the anus of another

ANAL TRAINING

preparation of the anus for ass play or anal sex, usually by dilating the anus with dildos or butt plugs. Sometimes the term is used as a blanket term for any play or sexual act involving the anus.

ANILINGUS

an activity involving oral sex with another person's anus

ANIMALISM

Role-play in which one takes on the role of an animal to be trained. Often addresses a person's sexual desire to be treated as less than human. Pony play, puppy play, and swine play are popular forms of animalism.

ANKLE CUFFS

Any sort of cuffs that are specially designed for use on a person's ankles.

ANORGASMIA

The inability for a male or female to achieve an orgasm due to physical or mental issues. 

ARMBINDER

A restraint that has a long sleeve in which both arms are bound with straps and buckles and/or with laces. Also referred to as a single-glove or monoglove.

ARNICA

An herbal medicine - in pill or ointment form and made from the arnica flower/plant - that reduces bruising and helps with sore muscles.

AROMA PLAY or AUROMA PLAY

BDSM activities that involve the use of aromatherapy to induce relaxation. Also refers to play using vapors or smells to create certain moods to intensify a play scene

ASEXUAL PLAY

BDSM activities, such as spanking or flogging, that do not lead to any sexual activity or any sensual touching. This is a controversial notion, as many believe that all BDSM activities are sexual in nature

ASMR (A.S.M.R.)

An acronym for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response which is a physical response to sounds and/or visuals. It is described as a positive tingling feeling that comes over a person, usually the back of the neck or down one's spine, a feeling that the hairs on one's arms or the back of their neck are standing on end, as a direct triggered response to audio or visual cues. For example, the sound of rubbing cloth repeatedly while whispering can bring about a tingle feeling in some individuals.

ASS PLAY or ANAL PLAY

Any form of sexual play with a participant's anus, including sodomy, anilingus, enemas, dildos and/or butt plugs.

ASYMMETRIC BONDAGE

Bondage in which a person is bound so that one of their legs or arms is different than the other, lacking symmetry. For example, one arm is tied to the person's leg while the other arm is tied to his/her back

AUTO-EROTIC ASPHYXIATION

asphyxia that results from intentionally strangling oneself, often with a rope or belt, while masturbating, in an attempt to heighten sexual pleasure by limiting the oxygen supply to the brain. Considered to be very dangerous.

 

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